Are you a divorced single parent with children at home, or are you going
to be a divorced single parent in the near future? If so, we understand
that you’ve probably heard all about how
divorce can have negative effects on kids – emotionally, academically, and
socially, but we have good news for you: There are steps that you and
your child’s other parent can take to help your child cope with
the divorce. Steps that can help your son or daughter avoid the ill effects
you’ve probably feared since you starting thinking your marriage was over.
In an article published in
Psychology Today, author Wendy Paris wrote, “Research shows that about 80-percent
of children of divorce adapt well and see no lasting negative effects
on their grades, social adjustment, or mental health.” Now, that’s
In Paris’ article, she referenced a study conducted by a child development
expert and Cambridge University professor, Michael Lamb. In Lamb’s
meta-study, “Mothers, Fathers, Families, and Circumstances: Factors Affecting Children’s
Adjustment,” research found that children do best when they have good relationships
with Mom and Dad – adults who get along with each other. However,
a child’s parents do not need to be married or even living under
the same roof for children to benefit. We agree with Lamb’s research.
In our experience as divorce and child custody attorneys, we found that
the happiest endings are usually the result of divorcing couples who set
aside their differences and agreed to work together and get along for
the sake of their children. We’re not saying that such couples are
“best friends,” because that’s often unrealistic, but
the ones who fair the best seem to set their differences aside and treat
each other with respect. Almost always, this approach reduces the stress
and trauma of divorce and relieves the anxiety often felt by children
Children Want to See Mom & Dad Getting Along
If you want your relationship with your children to remain intact; if you
want your bond with your children to get stronger, and if you want your
children to remain happy and healthy after the divorce, our number one
piece of advice is to try to get along with your former spouse.
As long as
domestic violence, stalking, child sexual abuse, substance abuse, or controlling behavior
is not a factor in your divorce, establishing a healthy co-parenting relationship
with your former spouse is the single, most effective thing you can do
to shield your children from the ill effects of divorce. Of course, in
order to achieve this, you’ll need to get the other parent on board.
But as long as you’re willing to make it work, you’re already
half way there.
Need a child custody lawyer in Las Vegas?
Contact Leavitt Law Firm today.