Are you a divorced single parent with children at home, or are you going to be a divorced single parent in the near future? If so, we understand that you’ve probably heard all about how divorce can have negative effects on kids – emotionally, academically, and socially, but we have good news for you: There are steps that you and your child’s other parent can take to help your child cope with the divorce. Steps that can help your son or daughter avoid the ill effects you’ve probably feared since you starting thinking your marriage was over.
In an article published in Psychology Today, author Wendy Paris wrote, “Research shows that about 80-percent of children of divorce adapt well and see no lasting negative effects on their grades, social adjustment, or mental health.” Now, that’s encouraging.
In Paris’ article, she referenced a study conducted by a Michael Lamb, a child development expert and Cambridge University professor. In Lamb’s meta-study, “Mothers, Fathers, Families, and Circumstances: Factors Affecting Children’s Adjustment,” research found that children do best if they have a good relationship with Mom and Dad – adults who get along with each other. However, a child’s parents do not need to be married or even living under the same roof for children to benefit. We agree with Lamb’s research.
In our experience as divorce and child custody attorneys, we found that the happiest endings are usually the result of divorcing couples who set aside their differences and agreed to work together and get along for the sake of their children. We’re not saying that such couples are “best friends,” because that’s often unrealistic, but the ones who fair the best seem to set their differences aside and treat each other with respect. Almost always, this approach reduces the stress and trauma of divorce and relieves the anxiety often felt by children of divorce.
Children Want to See Mom & Dad Getting Along
If you want your relationship with your children to remain intact; if you want your bond with your children to get stronger, and if you want your children to remain happy and healthy after the divorce, our number one piece of advice is to try to get along with your former spouse.
As long as domestic violence, stalking, child sexual abuse, substance abuse, or controlling behavior is not a factor in your divorce, establishing a healthy co-parenting relationship with your former spouse is the single, most effective thing you can do to shield your children from the ill effects of divorce. Of course, in order to achieve this, you’ll need to get the other parent on board. But as long as you’re willing to make it work, you’re already half way there.
Need a child custody lawyer in Las Vegas? Contact Leavitt Law Firm today.